I saw this and got all excited. Who wouldn’t want to use a free tote bag instead of flimsy plastic bags?! Then I saw that it’s not exactly free, but still pretty dang close. Here’s how to get a “free” tote bag from some woman named Rachel Ray:

1. Buy a Kraft Foods brand product from this list.

2. Scrawl your name and address on a 3×5 card. Sound out any big words.

3. Stuff that card and your original receipt (with the Kraft Foods brand item’s price circled) in an envelope.

4. Send that envelope to:
Every Day with Rachael Ray Magazine
16 East 34th Street
14th Floor
New York, NY 10016
Attn: Kraft Foods Promotion

5. Twiddle thumbs and prepare for the imminent arrival of a free reusable tote bag that’ll allow you to quit using disposable plastic bags.

You can only get one free bag per household. Also, this offer is only valid during May, so don’t delay, act today!